DAAAAAMMMNNNNNN. DAAATT AAASSSS
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I made a new seventy-year old friend yesterday. He was so kind. He told me to talk to him whenever I wanted to talk to anyone. He was sent to the hospital yesterday for collapsing. The day before we became tight, he was in the hospital because he suffered through a mini-stroke.
dis gif of patrick iz how I feel.
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gpoy (except replace the unhealthy snacks with healthy snacks)
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Today I was lectured by a seventy-year old man (that I have known for only a week and said maybe three sentences to) about how I’m a good person and will do great things. Jeanne heard us talking and walked over as the man said, “You know, my Dad was the best Dad ever. He told me he loved me everyday.” I nearly fainted when he said that. That’s all I ever wanted. I just wanted my parents to say ‘I love you’. My childhood would have been completely different if they had just said those three words. I honestly think I wouldn’t have tried to kill myself if they would’ve just said that phrase to me.
“My Mother on the other hand, she was drunk for most of my childhood. When I was a child I had thirty cows. By the time I was eighteen years old I had three-hundred cows. Now I have thirteen-hundred cows!”
Jeanne decided to air out some of my struggles. She shook my shoulder and said, “Well this one, she’s special. You couldn’t be more right. I’m glad you pointed her out. Her Mother is a jerk and her father was an alcoholic.”
It caught me off-guard. I tensed and dug my nails into the palms of my hands. In that moment, I remembered why I keep my nails short- when I am stressed I dig my nails into my skin. I felt my face reddening along with an oncoming sting of tears. I held it back.
Encounters like this bring me back to life.
PS the picture that accompanies this post was taken in Florence, during a trip that I funded when I was fifteen years old.
Sorry guize. I know dis ain’t da usual funnies. I’ll go back to my journal, tea, and music. Hopefully dis will spice up dis post:
PPS: I will now either delete this post within the next five minutes or keep it up and prod my nails into my flesh. ttylz*~*~**
K BITZ. MA MAIN MAN. MA BOO. MY WITTLE FRIEND. MA LIFE.
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