you’re the only one who understands me google
[video]
you’re the only one who understands me google
(via stinkyqueef)
It’s mad depressing when u eat the last piece of candy but you didn’t look at the bag and realize it was the last one so you could truly appreciate it for what it was worth
This speaks to me on a deep emotional level.
(via llamasjustwannahavefun)
(Source: jewelots, via iloveyourlesbianhaircut)
(Source: simsgonewrong, via hornyspice)
(Source: funniestever, via instagrampa)
Dearest Tumblr Followers,
Tomorrow is my 21st birthday! Dis betch can finally twerk without needing a parent or legal guardian present. Tomorrow I am campaigning all day at school. At night I am working on an essay my English professor asked me to write about Pathways at CUNY. Read more about it here. In my life, I’ve always hooked professors/teachers in. Since I was in 5th grade, I’ve been able to stir adults. After the passing of Mr. Frank, I didn’t have a teacher to bounce ideas back and forth with. I finally found my newest Professor bestie. I have an internship under his wing this summer. I am stressed out because he demands a lot from me, but it’s all good. I finally feel like I have clear-cut goals, and I feel more driven than ever.
xoxo,
jamminjimi
The Onion’s Tips For New College Graduates: Full Report
- Find the shittiest apartment known to humankind and move in with three people you don’t know from Craigslist
- Send one resume out and wait at least one year to hear back
- Remember to use your $35 Best Buy graduation gift card from your uncle wisely
- Contract any severe diseases now while you’re still covered under your parents’ health insurance
- Tell people you want to go into venture capital and they’ll be impressed
- Whole Foods stores throw out a surprising amount of hummus that is still totally fine
- As you begin your job search, make sure there are no typos on the first 11 or 12 pages of your cover letter
- If you want to explore your interests and expand your horizons, you should’ve done that two years ago when you had the chance
(via merelycreeping)
why the fuck cant we text the police
lets say there is a murderer in ur house and you’re hiding behind your sofa and you do have your phone with you but you can’t call the police because the murderer might hear you
Relevant
(via thesassygorilla)
100%
(via hyrulecat)
don’t you hate it when you offer someone food and they say yes
(Source: radichul, via crrocs)
i ain’t sayin’ she a gold-digger, but she did move west to california in 1849
(via thesassygorilla)
[video]
(Source: mikisayaka, via the-goat-that-rocked)